Why do we want when we know we can never truly have?We endure the pain of wanting because we hold on to the hopes of having.

We long for something that is not obtainable and something that possibly isn’t real.

We choose to have a dream of what could be instead of living in a reality without. 

We choose to chase an illusion because the fact we stand still is something we refuse to see.

Our wants drive us insane and we embrace the chaos that they perpetuate. 

And deep down we love the chaos and the insanity that infects us because it makes us feel alive.

We continue justify wanting because the agony of letting go of the want is too much to bare.

Or maybe we know that in order to have what we want, we must face what we lack. 



Feel me

Love me

Understand me

Hate me

Hold me

Hear me

See me

Know me

Let go of me


What I wanted to be and what I am

The dichotomy of who we want to be and who we are will always define the struggle of the person we want to be and the person we can’t help but be.

We struggle daily with the hopes of living up to the dream of the shadow of who we thought we would become as children.

We fight the inevitable of what we are meant to be compared to the fantasy of what we wish we could be.

Everyday a struggle of what we know we can’t avoid and what we wish deep down we can destroy.

A war between a life that isn’t meant to be lived with a life that we know we don’t deserve.

The fear of ending what we hate and a reality of knowing we lack the courage to continue a lie.

We live a lie where we fool ourselves into thinking that what we do today will affect us tomorrow but yet we believe we have no regrets.

Regrets are simply a way of wishing that we could live that moment over and hope for a different outcome.

If we can live life as the person we are instead of the person we wish we could be, then maybe we could see life for what it really is and what it really could be.

I will forever want to be the person I wish I could be instead of the person I have become.

I will forever hate the causes of what made me become this man and forever hold dear the dreams of a young boy of the man he hoped to be.




There are times 

There are times we’re reminded that life is unpredictable and that what every time we feel we have it figured out, we are surprised by a revelation.

There will always be the inevitable things in life that we can never truly prepare for but we learn to accept as part of being alive.

But there are times when you are reminded that being human isn’t as vapid as we sometimes feel and that there are random events that cause moments in life that you never knew you needed.

There are times when you’re humanity is touched by the soul of another and your mind speaks a language that only theirs can decipher.

There are times you can speak without words and their voice echos in your head and you could care less what it’s saying just as long as it’s speaking to you.

There are times that you can forget all that you question and over analyze and just accept that what this is is absolutely nothing but a moment that can last a minute or a lifetime.

There are times when you can’t put into words or theories what you’re feeling because for once you tell that side of your brain to shut the fuck up and you live in that moment.

There are times you just forget all that’s wrong and you feel just right and even though it may only last but a second, you’re ok with that because for that second you know your worth.

And there are times when you will look back and remember these times and you’ll start to ask questions like “what if” or say to yourself “I should have” and when those times come, don’t bother and just smile and remember what you shared.



It’s strange to think how temporary life is.

All that we are today will someday cease to exist.

Everything that we have and posses will simply vanish overtime and all of it will be forgotten.

We are merely ripples in time that will fade as they travel further away from the day we were born.

We can’t cheat time and have eternal do-overs and we can’t ever go back.

What we do today defines us for that moment and those moments are what we have.

If the next breathe is our last then we should use it to say what we feel.

We will all be forgotten eventually but for now we are alive and we have the chance to make our moments count.

We can choose to be temporary or we can choose to exist in a one my that maybe the greatest moment of our lives.


To live

Do you remember a time when things made a little more sense, when things didn’t seem so quite upside down?
A time when black was black and white was white and love meant love.
When a smile from a stranger made your day and the world around you just moved a little bit slower.
Now it seems as we live in a world of indifference and a society of carbon copies.
A place where a “good morning” or a “hi there” is greeted with a scowl from someone on their phone or a blank look of unfamiliarity.
The world moves too fast now and this escalator of life just keeps taking us along and there’s no real place to step off.
Sometimes I just want to look over the edge and then look a little more until the heels of my feet are raised slightly and at that moment there’s a choice to make.
To live, to truly live is that choice.
To revel in life and the passions of every moment is to feel.


Tell me

Tell me why you love me and tell me why I should believe you.
Tell me with a breathe and tell me with out hesitation.
Tell me all the things that you love and all the things you’ll learn to love.
Tell me when you fell for me and when you knew you couldn’t live without me.
Tell me all my flaws that you’ve managed to love when no one else has.
Tell me the mistakes that I’ve made that have made you love me more.
Tell me how many times you’ve said you loved me and how many times I’ve said it back.
Tell me the secrets that you’ve found out but have loved me in spite of.
Tell me when I fell in love with you and when I knew I couldn’t live without you.
Tell me me more than just the words and that is when I’ll know it to be true.

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