I find myself broken once again.
I know I was never truly but I felt whole when I was near you.
You managed to polish the scratches and mend the tears of my worn and tattered soul.
Knowing that the imperfections were still there, you accepted me.
You looked passed the blemishes and passed the cracks and saw deeper into me that anyone else had.
You weren’t scared away by what you saw and you didn’t feel pity for the man I was.
You only felt love.
You felt a love that I had never known before.
A love that made me feel that I was undeserving.
I felt as if I was not deserving of something so eloquent and pure.
But you persisted with your devotion and your sincerity.
I began to believe you and see myself through your eyes.
I saw passed my indiscretions and my sins.
I saw passed the facade of the masks that I adorned for the public.
I saw a man that was stripped down to his essential soul and I saw the love you had for him.
But the vision of this man was just an illusion and this illusion was far greater than the reality and truth.
I couldn’t be the man that you wanted and the man than you saw but only the man that I had always been.
I could never be fixed or mended or put back together.
This puzzle known as me is missing far to many pieces to ever be whole.
As much as I wanted you to be the piece, I realize now that I was tainting your world.
I infected your life with the darkness that plagues mine and for that I could never forgive myself.
I can always forgive my actions but I could never forgive them hurting you.
I give you my last broken piece of my heart in hopes that you can join it to yours and have it finally be a part of a heart that is truly whole.
Jameson Wilds 