Thinking

Thinking of you.
Thinking of mistakes.
Thinking of words not said.
Thinking of actions not taken.
Thinking of what I did.
Thinking of what I didn’t do.
Thinking of love.
Thinking of hate.
Thinking you were mine.
Thinking I was wrong.
Thinking of it all.
Thinking of you

Sleep

He still wakes in the middle of the night reaching for her; calling out her name.
Regret haunts his dreams and the echoes of remorse are so loud that he can’t remember the last time he slept through the night.
He’ll roll over and clutch the pillow where she’d lay her head in hopes of finding a strand of hair or the smell of her perfume.
But it’s been so long that all there is are cold patches of sheets and an empty place in his heart.
He just tosses and turns while memories play in his head like old black and white movies.
He sits up and for a second he sees her walking through the doorway wearing his t-shirt.
It’s never her but only shadows playing cruel tricks on him.
He reaches for the phone time and again but he knows she won’t pick up so he sits there just staring at the numbers hypnotized by thoughts of the countless hours they spent talking when they were apart.
He would give anything to hear her voice once more whisper “good night” as she faded off to sleep on the other line.
His nights are spent alone and all that keeps him company while he tries to sleep are the reminders of his mistakes and the memories of the one he’ll never forget.

Don’t Hurt Me

Your body collapses on to mine.
Weak, out of breathe, and used.
I can feel your heart pounding against your breast.
You fight hard to catch your breathe.
I can feel the weight of your body on mine.
You are so light and delicate and insignificant.
You blindly put your hand to my mouth and put your fingers to my lips.
Between your breathes you say “I love the way you fuck me.”
I lay there kissing the tips of your fingers.
You look up slightly and replace your fingers with your lips.
I can taste the bitter saltiness of our sweat.
You look into my eyes, then at my lips, then back at my eyes again and say “You already had my body but now you have my heart. Don’t hurt me.”
I look back at you and reply “I already have. You just haven’t felt it yet.”