Rain

He awoke to the sound of the rain beating down on his roof and against his window.

He sat up in his bed and closed his eyes and let the sound resonate in his head.

It was the sound of thousands of tiny hands slapping angrily throughout the night.

He walked to the window and watched the drops of rain explode against the glass.

He could see the lights of the city forming kaleidoscope images through beads of water.

He walked towards the door and with some hesitation opened it to the storm.

He looked up towards the fierce black clouds and began to walk out into the downpour.

He stood under the rain as the drops pelted his bare chest and face.

He lifted his head towards the sky as to welcome the worst it had to offer.

The drops of rain fell unrelentingly like tiny pebbles being flung from above.

He raised his arms to the sky opening himself up to the punishing beating.

He hoped the rain would wash away the sins of his life and create a new beginning.

He felt each drop had the opportunity to provide change in his life in the world.

He hoped that these drops could provide the same alleviation to the sadness.

He stood beneath the falling rain for what seemed to be an eternity.

He continued to stand there as if expecting some sign of forgiveness or respite.

None came to him, and he could no longer tell where the rain ended and his tears began.

He brought his hands to his face and lowered his head as he began to weep.

He clung to the hopes the skies would open and he would get what he was desperate for.

He knew he was likely to continue his life never having the forgiveness he sought after.

Yet he felt entitled to it and he felt entitled to the feeling of accepted atonement.

He turned back to his door and continued to sulk as he moved slowly towards it.

He walked to his room and sought the warm confines of his sheets and bed.

He closed his eyes and tried to make peace with the fact his hopes weren’t answered.

He drifted back to sleep with tears still in his eyes as he had every other time it rained.

Temporary

 

From the moment we are born, we know the meaning of temporary.

The unconditional love and the nurturing touch we first feel, only lasts the existence of the ones who give it to us.

The gift of innocence we are endowed with as children slowly seeps away through the cracks of the foundation of reality.

The safety and ritual of the walls of education only provide a brief shelter from what is yet to come.

The bonds one develops through life seem to fade through the years like a portrait faded by the sun.

The love that one may feel from the heart of another is like a flame burning bright but then ceases to do so when the air in their lungs can no longer fan the flame.

We are taught from the beginning that there is no such thing as forever, only a long time.

We are surrounded by purposeless events and ill-conceived notions that somehow they matter.

We are blinded by a vitality of the soul which is merely a side effect of a drug known as ignorance.

Temporary is the only permanent constant we have.

Broken

 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I must be broken for that’s what people believe me to be.

They think of me as broken for I do not believe the things they do or view what they see.

I don’t wake up mornings to a prayer or chant I believe will propel me through the day.

I don’t filter words that come from my mouth, but I do put my thoughts in all I say.

There is no glass that is half empty or half full that I use as a guide for me to live by.

I merely see a glass with water that I can reach for when my throat or mouth are dry.

They think me broken because I keep only a few within the confines of my life.

But I’d rather have only a few I trust than those who hide motives sharp as a knife.

They say I live life with no purpose for I have no long-term plans, not a single one.

But to those who have this to say to me, I respond “tomorrow is promised to none”.

My life consists of complex simplicities that have happened and those yet to occur.

I live life in the moment and not in yesterday or tomorrow for they are an obscure blur.

I may not smile on sunny days, I may not enjoy nature as a whole, but I do know content.

I may see things a bit darker than most but it doesn’t mean all I know is contempt.

What I believe in and what my thoughts and actions are base upon is all that I feel.

All my thoughts and actions are based on what I find tangible and what I find to be real.

I can’t apologize if someone believes me to be broken because I feel that I am whole.

I can’t apologize for not being something I am not or for not playing a certain role.

All I can do is remain true to my convictions and continue to live how I choose.

And for those who deem me broken, it is they who in the end shall lose.