Our Song

Tonight we danced like we danced so many years ago.
We stood on the dance floor and as the music played and we danced, I could feel a distance between us.
I held your body close to mine but it was your heart that was far.
We moved to the music as if we were on auto-pilot and drifted to the rhythm like lost ships in the night.
The song began to fade and as we pulled apart and as we did we both had half felt smiles across our faces.
As we started to head off the floor an old familiar tune began to play over the speakers.
You kept walking inattentive to the melodic call of the song.
I reached out for your hand and when I touched it I felt a spark and my heart began to race.
It raced the way it did the night we met and your fingers grazed my arm.
You stopped and turned towards me and with a puzzled look stared at me.
I smiled at you the way I did the first night we kissed in front of the coffee shop.
I drew you closer and you still couldn’t hear the song.
You began to speak and say something about being tired.
I put my finger to your lips, pointed up, and pulled you closer.
You looked at me and your eyes brightened and you smiled and as you came closer I could smell your hair and your perfume.
It smelled as lovely as it did the first time we danced together so many years ago to this very song.
I held you so close afraid that if I let go you’d vanish or this would have all just been a dream.
You pretended to let me lead but we both knew you were always the better dancer.
With every step we took tonight I relieved a day in our lives.
I forgot a step or two and along the way I forgot the moment when we fell in love.
We both forgot that moment.
The moment when we both knew that our dance would last forever because the music our hearts made was all we would ever need.
We swayed to the melody and at one point we both began to whisper the lyrics.
I lifted your head of my chest and as we both mouthed the words of the song I wiped away a tear from your eye.
I wiped away this tear because I was a fool to not wipe away the others.
I was a fool to not notice when you shed them and I was a fool to not notice you.
You kept looking at me and instead of mouthing the lyrics you mouthed the words “I’m sorry.”
You weren’t sorry for what you had done but for what you hadn’t done.
You weren’t sorry for what you had said but sorry for what you hadn’t said.
And you weren’t sorry for not loving me but for not showing me as frequently as you should have.
Once again I put my fingers to your lips, pointed up, and and pulled you closer.
We danced for what seemed like an eternity but was only a few short minutes.
But in those few short minutes we danced our way back into being in love.
We danced to our song and when our song was over we kept dancing.
We kept dancing to the music that our hearts made because that’s all we ever needed but had forgotten to dance to.

Bound

Here I stay incapable of moving, incapable of leaving.
Incapable of having my own thoughts and incapable of feeling what you won’t allow allow me to feel.
I am bound to you through chains forged from denial and self-benevolence.
Bound to you through ties spun of insecurity and cowardice.
Bound to you with committed acts contrived of iniquities and malice.
I cannot break free and I cannot say with all honesty that I want to be free.
I know not what life has for me now that I’ve dedicated what life I had to you.
I’ve separated my needs and wants from that of your desires.
I’ve poured myself willingly into your glass to drink from and have asked nothing in return.
I am bound to the silence in which my voice of regret echoes.
I am bound to this existence because it is here where I have purpose.
I am bound to misery for she is my only company and I am bound to suffer for it is the price of your love.

How Can You Truly Love….

How can you love someone that you truly do not know?

I ask you this because the love you have for me is bewildering.

You say you love me and I first doubted the words you would speak.

I had heard those words spoken by others but with no sentiments attached.

You continued to say them to me in spite of my affliction towards them and you.

I fought so hard to not let your words penetrate my heart and my soul.

I fought so hard to not believe or feel the tenderness in your actions.

How could you love me when you didn’t know me?

You had no idea as to the child I was or the man I had become.

You were clueless as to the dire childhood I had endured.

You were blind to the callus man that I had evolved into.

I desperately tried to ward off your attempts at knowing who I was.

I did this for the sake of you and for the sake of sparrng you.

It is a fool’s errand to attempt to love one uncapable of being loved.

Uncapable of returning the love that one so pure can afford.

But you continued to tell me both night and day.

And when your words were not enough, your actions spoke louder.

You reached into my chest and held my heart in your hands.

You spoke into my ear and let your voice reverberate in my brain.

You pulled me close and let your essence soak into my skin.

You did what you could to prove your love was real.

But still I ask how can you love someone you do not truly know?

Maybe it is I who does not truly know myself.

Maybe you have seen me for the man I hoped I could be.

The man I feared I could never achieve being.

A man capable of love and of being loved.

But how can I love you if I do not know myself?

How can I love love you if I cant love who I am?

You are far more deserving than to have this weight to bare.

You are what love would be if it took form on earth.

How can I love you if I truly do not know who I am?

I can only hope to know who I am by seeing myself through your eyes.

Through your eyes I will find the man I want to be and the one you need.

The man you love will be the man I will become.

Thank you for loving the man I never knew and the one you’ve grown to know.